Power of Thoughts
It is also important to remember that within your relationship everything that you do or say will either help or harm your relationship.
You may think that you can hide your feelings from your partner. However, emotions have unique vibrations and whether we are conscious of it or not we can perceive emotions such as hostility, joy, anger or excitement. What we think and the emotions underlying our thoughts send out a vibration just as speaking does. When we have strong emotions attached to our thoughts our partner will get the message more clearly than if we say the same thing without emotion. We talk about being able to “cut the tension with a knife,” to explain what we feel when we walk into a room full of emotional tension.
If we think our partner is a jerk (or substitute any negative label), we will have two things working against us. First the self-fulfilling prophesy; if we think our partner is a jerk, we will treat them that way and they will act the way we expect them to act. Second the message we are sending to our partner—through our thoughts and feelings, whether we speak up or not, will reach our partner. It should not surprise us when our partner responds negatively. If we really want to build a lasting relationship we will have to replace negative thoughts with more loving and positive thoughts and feelings.
If we stop to consider that with every thought we think, we are either, sending our partner love or something less. If we are sending disdain or contempt to our partner, unless they are extremely mature and respond with unconditional love and acceptance, we will get back what we have tried to hide from them.
We poison our relationship when we begin entertaining negative thoughts about our partner, when we cultivate negative emotions of resentment, anger, or frustration. These negative emotions, no matter how hard we try to bury them, will impact our partner. They will get the message subconsciously—a kind of subliminal message.