When you look at the picture below what do you see?Can you see two different possibilities?
How many times when you are talking to your partner do you wish that they could see things from your perspective? Do you wonder why s/he cannot just get what you are trying to tell him/her? It may be interesting to pause and wonder if your partner ever feels that you simply do not get it. How many times does your partner wish that you could see things from their perspective?
The challenge in relationships is to get past self-interest to compassion for one another. Compassion suggests that we not only understand what our partner feels and wants, but that we care about how they feel and what they want. Too often selfishness in relationships leaves one or the other or both feeling unloved and unappreciated.
It is important to put your ego aside and give up having to be right in order to find compassion for your self and your partner.
Here are 7 steps to increasing your compassion for your partner:
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1. Think of your partner as once being a precious newborn and having infinite worth. Take some time to really ponder on this idea, until you can feel a warm feeling toward your partner, even if it is only a warm feeling toward them as a lovable infant.
2. Think of your self as one being a precious newborn and accept that you have infinite worth.
3. Focus on positive and happy memories from your past together. Look at pictures of fun times.
4. Each day think of something about your partner that you can be grateful for. Express gratitude to your partner.
5. Remember that your partner is beautiful (handsome) when s/he is happy and fulfilled. Think of your partner as happy and content.
6. Increase your acceptance for yourself and for your partner. Accept responsibility for being compassionate toward your partner.
7. Make your partners feelings and wants as important to you as your own.
Developing compassion for your partner will help you to recognize and feel the love that your partner offers to you.