You have probably heard the saying, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” I think the logic behind this saying is the idea that love is about acceptance. While it is very true that love is about accepting your partner for who and what they are; it is also true that when you love someone you must be willing to say, “I’m sorry.” When you live together day in and day out; you will inevitably hurt one another, hopefully not on purpose. But whether the hurt was intentional or not, a sincere apology helps to heal the wound.
If you have been hurt, take responsibility for clearly communicating your feelings to your partner. Don’t look for offense, score-keep and wait or insist that your partner apologize.
This is one of those areas where you need to row your own boat. You need to control what you can control—your own behavior. If you hurt your partner, accept responsibility for your words or your behavior and be big enough to genuinely apologize.
Saying the words, “I’m sorry,” can be hollow and useless if you do not also attempt to understand your partner’s thoughts and feelings. Why was what happened hurtful to them? What need is underneath their upset? Try to step into your partner’s shoes so that you begin to understand what is going on for them.
Try seeing your words and behavior through your partner eyes. What is your behavior saying to them? When you make an honest attempt to really see things from each other’s perspective wonderful things can begin to happen in your relationship.