Connection
Connecting with your partner lays the foundation for any intimacy, including sexual intimacy. Consistently building the connection between the two of may be the single most important thing that you can do to improve the quality of your relationship.
Ways to build connection include:
Eye contact
It may sound simplistic, but think about it, how often in the past week have you had any sustained eye contact with your partner? Making eye contact with your partner lets him/her know that s/he has your undivided attention. Remember that staring can seem confrontational. Practice making eye contact with your partner in a loving way. Flirt a little, enjoy.
Time Together
Spend time together. Plan for it. Make it a priority in your life. There should be times when everything else; including work, children, parents, or friends; takes second place to your relationship. Take time to have fun together and enjoy one anothers company.
Talk
Talk to each other. Everyday, find some way to talk, even if it has to be through email or texting. Reach out and make that connection. If you feel like you have nothing to say to each other, start small. Talk for a minute at a time and talk about something fun. Think of something interesting that has caught your attention and tell your partner about it. Tell him/her a joke that you have heard or describe something funny that happened to you. With a little bit of effort you can rekindle that desire to talk to each other all the time.
Listen, Listen, Listen
When your partner wants or especially when they need to talk to you, if at all possible, stop what you are doing, give him/her your attention and really listen to what they are saying. The gift of a listening ear will help your partner feel much more connected to you. And who knows it may even make him/her more apt to listen when you want to talk.
Sharing
What should you share with your partner? Everything. But remember there is no need to be hurtful when sharing with your partner. Share your thoughts, your feelings, your dreams, your fears. Share your time; share YOU.